#nothing actually ya know lemony or anything

[ritzcrackee]

my current summer tbr! rambling under the cut

Free Fall

"When an influential lawyer is murdered miles above the earth's surface, Captain of Detectives Rick Harrison reluctantly accepts the case. Harrison quickly finds himself at the center of a deepening conspiracy. Why did the killer use a mining laser, an unwieldy weapon? What is the connection between the victim and the powerful anti-android lobby? And the toughest question Harrison never expected to ask: what defines humanity?"

tbh? not hyped for this one. i bought it in a state of rushed delirium and i'm 99% sure i'll get 20 pages in then never touch it again. we'll see though

Sharp Objects

"Fresh from a brief stay at a psych hospital, reporter Camille Preaker faces a troubling assignment: she must return to her tiny hometown to cover the murders of two pre- teen girls. For years, Camille has hardly spoken to her neurotic, hypochondriac mother or to the half-sister she barely knows: a beautiful thirteen-year-old with an eerie grip on the town. Now, installed in her old bedroom in her family's Victorian mansion, Camille finds herself identifying with the young victims—a bit too strongly. Dogged by her own demons, she must unravel the psychological puzzle of her own past if she wants to get the story-and survive this homecoming."

i absolutely am extremely hyped for this book!! it looks like it's really similar to big little lies, which i really liked. v v excited

Snow in Summer

"Summer's life in the mountains of West Virginia is far from the fairy tale it once was. Not long ago she sang songs and danced with her mother and father, her cousin Nancy doted on her, and she had a new baby brother on the way. But the baby died soon after birth, taking their mother with him and turning Summer's life grim. Now things are getting even worse as her father falls under the spell of a woman who brings potions and magical mirrors into Summer's world. Stepmama puts on a pretty face, but Summer suspects she's up to no good-and is afraid she may be powerless to stop her."

i mostly got this to fill the neverafter shaped hole in my heart </3. and bcus i know i'm going to get tired of ya/adult books soon lmao

Afrofuturism

"In this hip, accessible primer to the music, literature, and art of Afrofutur sm, author Ytasha Womack introduces readers to the burgeoning community of artists creating Afrofuturist works, the innovators from the past, and the wide range of subjects they explore. From the sci-fi literature of Samuel Delany, Octavia Butler, and N. K. Jemisin to the musical cosmos of Sun Ra, George Clinton, and the Black Eyed Peas' will Lam, to the visual and multimedia artists inspired by African Dogon myths and Egyp tian deities, the book's topics range from the "alien" experience of blacks in America to the "wake up" cry that peppers sci-fi literature, sermons. and activism. With a twofold aim to entertain and enlighten, Afrofuturists strive to break down racial, ethnic, and social limitations to empower and free individuals to be themselves."

i've already read like 50 pages of this and it's so interesting so far!! i keep having to switch between it and midnight sun bcus nonfiction fries my brain @_@ the author is great at keeping ur attention tho!

The Fault In Our Stars

"Despite the tumor-shrinking medical miracle that has bought her a few years, Hazel has never been anything but terminal, her final chapter inscribed upon diagnosis. But when a gorgeous plot twist named Augustus Waters suddenly appears at Cancer Kid Support Group, Hazel's story is about to be completely rewritten."

let's go john green!! this is the first book of his i've planned on reading but i've had it reccomended to me a few times. hyped for a romance novel thats actually aimed at my age group lol

Lives of the Saints

ok the blurb for this one literally covers both side sof the sleeve?? and it truly tells you nothing BDJDJ. anyways the writing style reminded me of lemony snicket and it's only 150 pages? it seems fun but we'll see

Ain't Nobody's Business If You Do

"What are consensual crimes? A consensual crime is any activity currently illegal-that does not physically harm the person or property of another. The idea behind this book is simple: As an adult, you should be allowed to do with your person and property whatever you choose, as long as you don't physically harm the person or property of another."

this book is SO large. i mean 817 pages large. it seems like an interesting critique of the justice system, but tbh i just got it to look smart/hold up the clipboard my twilight books r balancing on.

Maus & Maus ||

"Maus is the story of Vladek Spiegelman, a Jewish survivor of Hitler's Europe, and his son, a cartoonist who tries to come to terms with his father, his father's terrifying story, and History itself. Its form, the cartoon (the Nazis are cats, the Jews mice), succeeds perfectly in shocking us out of any lingering sense of familiarity with the events described, approaching, as it does, the unspeakable through the diminutive."

i've been reading a pirated copy of this book and i'm so glad i found the physical copies!! i've already read maus but i read it a while back so i'll probably reread to prepare for the second one. straight up one of my favorite graphic novels so i'm extremely excited.

[allisondraste]

You’ll See

Pairing: Nathaniel Howe X Female Cousland

Summary: Allison missed Liss and Nate so she made up some stuff.  Liss and Nathaniel take a trip to a special pond, and live out a shared teenage fantasy.

Author Note:  Long time, no see! I've been thinking about Liss and Nate a lot lately, so I figured I'd write a one-shot to get them out of my system. This is actually a scene that I had originally planned to be in the Eplilogue of Temperance, and decided that there were other, more important things that needed to happen in that chapter. I hope those of you who read, enjoy! Thanks for stopping by.

[AO3 LINK]

Nathaniel awoke to a jarring shaking of his shoulders, causing him to wince and blink until the sleep faded from his eyes and he could see the source of the disturbance clearly.  Liss hovered over him, face inches from his watching him expectantly as her fingers continued to grasp the sleeves of his shirt.  He’d grown accustomed to her waking him up in the middle of the night, typically for comfort after a particularly bad nightmare.  He never minded, but she didn’t look upset.  In fact, she seemed almost giddy.

“Wake up, sleepyhead,” she said, almost in a whisper, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

He rose up on his elbows and glanced over at the window.  “Liss, it’s still dark outside.”

“That’s the point,” she laughed and hopped up grabbing his hand and tugging it to urge him out of bed.

“The point of what, exactly?”

“You’ll see.”

Liss opened the door to the room they’d been staying in, her old bedroom that Fergus had kept vacant for her visits to Highever, and stepped out into the hallway, still in her nightgown.  She motioned for him to follow her with her index finger, and so he laughed, shook his head, and did as she wanted, stone floor cold against his bare feet.  She grabbed his hand as he caught up to her, lacing her fingers through his.

“Where are we going?”

“Shh,” she snapped her head to look at him and whisper, “You’re going to wake up Fergus.”

“Is there a reason we shouldn’t?” It felt oddly like their childhood, sneaking about Castle Cousland past their bedtime trying not to alert her parents to their mischief.

“It’s rude, Nate,” she scolded him playfully, “Not to mention, he’s a horrible grump when he’s woken early, and… well, you’ll see.”

“You keep saying that,” Nathaniel hissed as he continued to follow behind her, “If you were anyone else, I would be concerned that I am being led to my demise.”

Liss stopped abruptly and turned to face him, smiling deviously. “How do you know I’m not?”

He brought her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “I trust you with my life, my lady.”

“Cut it out,” she said playfully, pulling her hand away from him, “You will not charm me out of my secrets.”

He snorted, rather ungracefully, and she let out a laugh she’d clearly been trying to stifle.  She grabbed his hand again, and continued to lead him through the hallways, down several flights of stairs, and all the way outside.  He’d spent many summers in Highever, many warm days and nights by Liss’ side, hand-in-hand, allowing her to lead him into whatever trouble she desired, anything to hear her laugh and see her smile at him with glittering eyes.  This time, almost eleven years since he’d left for Starkhaven, was the only time he’d ever been free to truly admire her.

They made their way through the courtyard and out the large wooden gate.  The guards on watch looked at them curiously, but did as the teyrn’s sister bade, opening and closing the door behind them.  Nathaniel knew where they were going now, he no longer needed to ask.  There was only one spot outside the grounds she’d want to go.

The small pond in which they used to swim as children had not changed in the years he’d been away, untamed and wild compared to anything within the castle walls.  He remembered the times he and Liss had always visited after dueling practice to cool down, how they’d always try to push the other into the water first.  They would lay on the bank for hours talking as their clothes dried, linking fingers and watching the clouds.

“You coming,” Liss called to him from the water’s edge.  In his reminiscing he had not noticed her slip out of her gown, and his face grew hot at the sight of her in nothing but her smallclothes and illuminated by moonlight.

“I… “ He rushed over to her, suddenly feeling entirely too far away and completely incapable of speech.  He averted his eyes out of habit, something he had not yet been able to break.

“That hideous, huh,” Liss asked knowingly.

“No, it’s just-” he cleared his throat and forced his gaze upward to see that she’d removed her undergarments and was now twirling them around one of her fingers.

“What?” She dropped the garments and began to wipe at her cheek. “Is there something on my face?”

He laughed and gathered himself enough to close the distance between them, reaching out to brush a lock of curly golden hair from her shoulder.  “There’s nothing on you at all,” he managed, voice low.

Liss looked down at her own naked body and back up at him.  “Huh, how about that?”

Before Nathaniel could respond, she’d turned and jumped into the pond, sending a spray of water up to dampen his shirt and breeches.  He might have been annoyed had it not been for his beautiful lover swimming to the bank, then resting her head on her arms as she peered up at him, batting those ridiculous lashes of hers.  He was almost certain he’d dreamed about this before, multiple times, and he wasn’t entirely certain he was not presently dreaming.  So, he just stood, bewildered and blinking down at her.

“What’s the matter Nate,” she teased, “You look properly bashful.”

He let out an embarrassed laugh and brushed a loose strand of hair back from his face. “Would it be completely inappropriate for me to tell you that this was one of my teenage fantasies?”

“Only if, in those fantasies, you just stood there completely clothed the entire time,” she quipped, matter-of-factly.

“Shut up,” he joked as he began unlacing his breeches and untucking his shirt.  His fingers were hurried and clumsy despite the many times he’d disrobed in front of her.

“Make me,” came her retort as she pushed away from the bank and out into the middle of the water.

It was a game they’d played for as long as he’d known her, a little verbal spar that never failed to endear him to her even further, even when he was certain he could not become any more fond.  He finished undressing and jumped in the water, swimming over to where she floated, back facing him.  He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin in the curve of her neck, noticing how she did not stiffen at his touch, how she wasn’t even surprised to find him there so suddenly.  She spun to face him, mischievous grin spreading across her lips. She shifted her gaze from him to the water between them and then back up, swiping her arm through the water so that it splashed up into his face.    

He winced reflexively as she burst out into laughter.  He couldn’t help but laugh with her, as much as he wanted to be stern.  “You arse.”

“I earned that.” She swam forward to close the distance between them again, pressing her chest flush against him and reaching up to pinch his nose. “Too bad you still want to kiss me.”

“I want no such thing,” he lied, leaning forward so that their foreheads touched, “In fact I’ve never wanted to kiss you less.”

“I’m not convinced,” she breathed.

“It’s the truth, my lady.” He pressed his lips to hers as gently as he could, delighting at her sharp inhale at the gesture. “I find the idea repulsive.”

“Well-” she interrupted herself to return the kiss, allowing her lips to trail down his neck to his shoulder, which she bit playfully- “I wouldn’t want you to make yourself ill on my account.”

She feigned an attempt to swim away but he caught her arm and pulled her back into him, tangling his hand in her damp hair.  She laughed again, and he shook his head, looking down at the woman he’d loved his entire life, the one he’d dreamed about being able to kiss in the very pond where they were.  His gaze must have softened as Liss’ furrowed her eyebrows.

“What?”

“I love you,” he said, startled by the strain in his own voice.

Liss smiled warmly, and brought a wet hand up to his cheek. “I love you, too.”

Nathaniel had always regretted the many opportunities he’d missed to be with Liss just as he was now, all of the times he chose not to tell her how he felt, the years he’d let her think that she wasn’t the single most important person in his life.  He’d come to terms with the fact that he could never take those moments back, that he wouldn’t ever get to be seventeen again, drunk on rum and the smell of her hair where he’d nearly told her he loved her.  He’d never get another chance to be a stubborn thirteen-year-old sitting at the edge of the water, too afraid of his feelings and his father to play with his best friend.  However, they could make new memories in those very same places, and he was more than content with that.  They spent the next few hours outside under the stars, holding one another, and lying on the bank talking about everything and nothing as they watched the sun rise into the morning sky.

[megabadbunny]

What are your favorite nsfw Tentoo x Rose headcanons? 😏

HRRRRRNG IDEK I JUST LIKE KNOWING THEY’RE BOTH GETTING SOME

but more specifically...hmm, lemme think. 

Okay so personally even though I have definitely enjoyed my share of nsfw stories featuring Rose with Nine or Ten, my personal headcanon is that Rose and the Doctor didn’t actually have sex until some time after he came over to Pete’s World. Not only because it builds up that nice UST but because like. While Rose is a little better about it, both she and the Doctor are allergic to being vulnerable, and true romantic/loving/physical intimacy involves an amount of vulnerability that I don’t think either of them are even willing to consider in series one and two. So one of my favorite lemony headcanons is simply that after Journey’s End it takes time for both of them to get to know each other again, to familiarize themselves with all the changes they’ve both undergone throughout the years, before they take the trip to Bonesville, population: 2. And then we get that juicy juicy slow-burny longing-filled deliciously frustrating UST (yas yas gimme that gimme That Good Shit TM)

I also feel like, yes, they both find sex to be extremely physically satisfying, but there’s an emotional closeness that they both appreciate as well. I mean, tbh at first I imagine the emotional closeness kind of freaks them both out a little, lol. (Again, vulnerability = scary.) But over time they both come to crave the emotional closeness as much as the physical. Sometimes I imagine the sex verges on a little desperate, like they’re both desperate to drive out the memory of losing each other, or the fear that it’ll happen again.

On a lighter note, in the earlier days of The Sexening, Rose strikes me as the type to generally take the lead, but the Doctor is an extremely willing, enthusiastic, and considerate participant XD and as they get more comfortable with each other, the Doctor grows more confident about taking charge sometimes. They’re definitely both game for experimenting and trying new things when the mood strikes, and of course not everything they try is a keeper, but there are definitely some exciting new things that end up joining the regular roster. That being said, I’d imagine they’re both pretty happy with fluffy happy vanilla stuff as well. (I mean really who doesn’t like vanilla? It’s a classic for a reason XD)

I think Rose sometimes gets a little self-conscious about stuff like body hair even though. Like. The Doctor physically could not care less about whether or not she has body hair lolol. Rose probably also has to resist the urge to smack him when he suddenly becomes Doctor Science in the bedroom (Please stop talking about the physical components of a climax and just make me come already etc.). Not to mention, when the Doctor’s hyperfixating on something in his lab at UNIT, Rose could be prancing around naked and he wouldn’t even notice. Sometimes she pretty much just has to sit in his lap and start snogging him to get his attention (not that he minds, except he’s very busy right now, Rose, although that does feel very nice doesn’t it, and actually it turns out he doesn’t mind, not at all, probably time for a break anyway) and subsequently they are sure to install a very reliable remote-activated lock on his lab door, lol. I also feel like Rose really enjoys lingerie, not just because it’s extremely gratifying to see the Doctor’s brain functions halt to a stop, but because she just feels so goddamn sexy in it. That being said, there’s nothing quite like the satisfaction of hurriedly ripping off each other’s regular clothes, or being so overwhelmed with need that they don’t take off anything but the essentials, or don’t take off anything at all.

Also they’re both big fans of lap sex. Just fyi.

:D

[beybladeimagines]

This is a question for the blitzkrieg boys (inc Kai plz), what's the dirtiest dream you've had? Was it about a crush, fan, celebrity or a fellow team member? We need details!

                        LEMONY CONTENT BELOW THE READ MORE.

“Kinda foolish for you to assume that dreams simply stay dreams, but alright...” 

White wolf embraces a newfound confidence. On any other occasion, the question would leave him flustered, but the presence of his crew makes him feel like he has something to prove. A chuckle leaves his lips, one draped in amusement and, what sounds like, arousal? Eyes fall upon the asker. He doesn’t dare blink while he speaks.

“I don’t usually let faces stick, but this was one I couldn’t seem the shake. She had the most beautiful fuckin’ eyes... And all I could think about was how much better they’d be if they were lookin’ up at me. In that dream, I was stroking her jaw. I knew it wasn’t real, but I could still feel how soft her skin was. And then my thumb dragged it’s way across her lower lip, right before I-... Well, I can’t even tell you what happened next.”

Those same eyes half-lidded with lust now glared at his teammates. “Someone woke me up. Annoying...”

“Ah, diving right into the good stuff, are we? I like you already... Unlike Tala, I actually get to finish.”

He grins like the devil, revealing fangs that can’t wait to sink right into the detail.

“I’m not picky - there’s an opportunity in just about everything. I remember having this intense dream with, like, three chicks and two dudes. I swear I’ve seen them somewhere before, but who cares? Instead of being background characters in my life, they were all on me. You’d think five lovers at once would be too much to handle, but I don’t quite mind a challenge. Everything became a lust filled blur. I can’t even begin to tell ya who I was inside, but I could practically feel hands rubbing against my chest, urging me to keep going, to go faster, to go harder. I always had my mouth on someone. I’ve never been so damn greedy for a kiss in my life, but those tongues seemed to taste every word I’ve ever said, and they validated those tossed-away statements too... God damn... It was always so warm. A pity it was just a dream. But a dream worth chasing.”

Upon hearing the question, Spencer instantly motions palm to face. He tries to hide both his disappointment and embarrassment. He was certain his friends were having a field day with the inquiry, but he needed a few more minutes to answer. A defeated sigh leaves him - one that can’t believe the words that are about to leave his lips. But, if everyone else was doing it, why shouldn’t he have the chance to play along too?

“I had a dream I made love to a beautiful woman against the wall. We were running from something - can’t remember what - but I suddenly felt inclined to give her cover. It seems my mind was impatient... The moment I imagined myself as her protector, I quickly transitioned into being inside her. I’ve never felt a warmth like that before. I could barely discern her face from the amount of sweat that was pouring down my own. I remember finding a sanctuary in her shoulder. I used the space between her neck to muffle my moans, but they still managed to float into her ears. She was so eager... I remember the way her arms were wrapped around me as I held her up. Weight didn’t matter to me. As long as we stayed like that, I felt I could be there for days. 

And then I awoke... Quite disappointed, as you can probably imagine.”

As everyone else answered, he was surprisingly silent. No annoyed huffs, no irritated sighs, no snarky comments - nothing. Kai wasn’t usually the type to entertain this stuff and yet, the invasive inquiry didn’t seem to bother him. They wanna know, right? And they wanna know bad-. . . Well, they’ve been so patient. Why shouldn’t daddy give them what they want?

“At one point, it was a dream, but not anymore. And as for who it was - I think you should mind your own business in that regard.” A smirk floats onto his features, completely changing the mood in the room.

“She was a blank canvas in my mind, but I don’t like the idea of letting anything stay empty. I needed to see myself in her skin. It had to be fuckin’ mine. Dreams don’t have even transitions, so I remember finding my face buried in her neck, grazing against the skin, and leaving hickey’s the size of hail. How can someone stay so beautiful with all those purples and reds all along their neck? She looked good the more I made her mind. I guess I move through the details pretty fast, because the next thing I knew, I left the same prints along her ass. She thanked me. Good girls usually do. And I reward those that thank me for what I do. My hands don’t always have to make things hurt... I proved that the moment she spread herself.”

[isshinene]

You know for your one shot ask meme thingy for #16 "Maybe you didn't love me after all"... you said that it's based off of a angst fic idea that you had. Can I ask what it is? You got me hooked but you said you're not going finish the story!!!

AH… Hi, anon! Yeah… that story… I am probably not going to finish it, it’s just too hard for me to do. But the story was supposed to be called “A Flower’s Letter”. I have the first chapter published here. The title is from the Ilijimae OST.

As you will see below, I had like THE ENTIRE THING PLANNED OUT! ugh… I even had like chapter titles and all. Idk what I’m more sad over, the plot or the fact that I did all that work and like gave up on it.

I’m gonna put a “read more” bar thingy here because I’m just gonna vomit my basic plot line below lol. I’ll let you read it and imagine the stuff in your head (you don’t need my terrible writing ya? XD)

Chapter 1: My Letter to You, First of Many

Basically, a letter to Satoshi from Nene, explaining her hesitance to talk to him again. It hints to some past stuff and that they don’t keep in touch anymore. Nene says that she doesn’t want to feel that bitterness anymore and just wants to see him again. (happens after ch.5)

Chapter 2: Blossoming Love

Some lemony action taking place here. Nene tells him that she loves him which really catches Satoshi off guard because she doesn’t say it often. The two are engaged and happy, but Satoshi is suddenly called by his parents to Kyoto for a meeting.

Chapter 3: Scattered Petals

Isshiki goes back to Kyoto and his family is trying to set him up in another arranged marriage. They’ve been doing it for the past two years and he sort of just played along with it. His family gets upset when he ruins another matchmaking date. He tells his family that he doesn’t want them dictating his life and finally informs them that he is actually already engaged to Nene, telling them to stop.

His father is surprised that he has intentions of marrying a Kinokuni. Satoshi doesn’t understand why his family won’t approve since Nene is basically an ideal wife for his family. His parents state that although the clans are friendly, it’ll become a power struggle if they try to merge the two families. There’s a reason they stayed in the east and that the Isshiki’s stayed in the west.

They tell him that if he marries her, he will be kicked out of the clan.

Chapter 4: Grasping at Thorns pt. 1

He returns. Nene finds out about what happened in Kyoto (idk how she did, I didn’t think that out). She also finds out about the fact that his parents were trying to set him up with other women for two years behind her back. He tells her that he was just playing along, trying to not cause conflict with his parents. She asks him why he did say anything and he says he didn’t think it was a big deal.

Nene asks what they think of their engagement and Satoshi tells her that they don’t approve to her surprise. He also tells her that he didn’t answer his fathers question whether he would choose Nene or the family. Nene gets upset because he didn’t choose her, but he argues that he may not get along with them, but he still cares about his family. He gets sort of mad at her because he thinks she is being selfish.

“Was there ever a moment where you considered going along with your parent’s wishes” to which he doesn’t respond. She storms out of the apartment.

Chapter 5:  Grasping at Thorns pt. 2

(ok I didn’t think this chapter out very well yet so it’s rough) Nene goes to like a restaurant or something to calm down. She orders like a normal soft drink but it gets spiked by the waitress. A mysterious guy tries to talk to her at the counter, asking her if she is alright since it looks like her eyes are a bit swollen.

The next day, Nene wakes up, alone and naked in a hotel room. She can’t remember anything and she starts to panic as she gets dress and leaves the hotel to go to work. She sees her phone is full of messages from Isshiki but she ignore them still trying to figure out what happened. When she returns back to the apartment, Isshiki is worried sick about her. He asks where she was the night before and she lies saying that she was at a friends house. They both apologize and reconcile.

A couple of weeks later, they both are asked to go back to Kyoto. Isshiki thinks that his family has finally come around to accepting their engagement and decides to go. But actually, they confront the couple about pictures they received of Nene at a hotel sleeping with another guy. They both are shocked. His father tells Satoshi to break it off with her immediately.

Satoshi comes to her defense at first though. He asks her if she lied to him about where she was that night. She admits that she did and that she did wake up in a hotel but she tells him that she couldn’t remember anything. She swears though that she didn’t have sex with the guy. The family claims that the pictures say otherwise but Nene still refuses.

Satoshi talks alone with his father. Says that he should break it off before it hurts the entire family.  Isshiki says that he still trusts Nene and that he knows she would never do something like that.  His father gets angry, saying he is still willing to defend this girl when she obviously cheated on him. Isshiki hotly defends her, saying maybe someone set her up. The waitress said she was talking with the guy at the bar, that they left together. The receptionist says they did get a room together. The pictures show the evidence for themselves. His father says that if they have access to the pictures, then others will as well. If they leak, not only will he be hurt, but Nene’s entire family as well.

His father makes a deal with Satoshi: end things with her and he will try to stop the photos from getting out.

From here it’s basically the one-shot

Chapter 6: Withering

It’s a year later, and guess what… Nene’s been really ill for a while. When she starts to get treatment, that’s when she starts to write letters to him. (aka Ch.1) She asks him multiple times to come and see her.

(In the form of a letter) She asks him if he has been reading her letters. Talks about her small shokugeki with the hospital chef. Tells him that the treatments weren’t working and that they just make her feel sicker. She’s considering getting off treatment. She says it’s not her giving up, but rather she just wants to live her life the way she wants. She’s scared, but she is trying to come to terms with it all. Nene leaves him a visitation card if he ever decides to come and see her.

Time skip another year and a half, Nene actually goes to Kyoto to go an see him. She’s been off of treatment for a while. She enters the restaurant kitchen and seeks him out. He is surprised to see her, but he is still hurt by what happened. He pulls her to the back room for a private conversation.

“Satoshi…”

“It’s Isshiki, call me Isshiki please.”

She asks him how he is. He asks her why she is there. Nene is kind of in a lost for words to see him again. He tells her he’s busy and has a lot of order to fulfill but she asks him to wait because she wants to talk about what happened.  He tells her it’s pointless, he is over her and doesn’t feel the say way anymore (he obviously lies). He says it was nice seeing her again, but it’s for the best if they don’t meet again.

She’s hurt but she conceals it, understanding that he is probably still hurt about what happened. She also realizes that he doesn’t know that she’s sick. She realizes it’s probably for the better if he doesn’t know. She smiles at him, trying her best to hide her tears. Nene tells him it made her really happy to see him again.

He is taken aback by her emotions and watches her leave. He can’t help but sense something is up with her. Something in him tells him to go after her. He sees her walk away, wiping some tears. His heart constricts seeing her tearful face.

“Wait, Nene—”

But he’s stopped by his father.

Chapter 7: Fallen, Carried by Gentle Winds

It’s 8 months later (3 years since breakup). Isshiki overhears his parents and younger brother talking about how some guy they hired wants more money. He becomes suspicious and finds out that his family was the one that staged everything for their break up. Of course, he becomes enraged when he hears this, absolutely heartbroken over the fact that he left Nene and didn’t trust her but also for the fact that his own family would do that for him.

“It was for your future!”

“She was my future!”

He leaves the house, saying he wants nothing to do with them anymore. He tries to call Nene’s phone but she doesn’t pick up. Finally, he goes to Tokyo and tries to talk with her family but is immediately refused at the door. No one seems to know how to contact Nene.

The last person he tries to get in touch with is Rindou. Even she isn’t too receiving of him though. Satoshi thinks it’s because of how he treated Nene. He begs her to let him meet with her and Rindou finally agrees.

“Come with me, I’ll show you where she is.”

She takes him to Nene’s grave. He’s in shock— in disbelief. Rindou tells him that Nene died 4 months ago. Her family tried to keep the whole ordeal as quiet as possible. Really only her family knows. He breaks down, not believing she’s gone.

Flashback: 

Rindou: He isn’t coming, Nene! Just tell him what’s happening if you want to see him so badly! I’ll do it for you, I can call him!

Nene: Rindou-senpai! Please, don’t.

Rindou: Why?! Nene you don’t have much ti—

Nene: Rindou-senpai, I know. Don’t worry.

Rindou: Nene, don’t you want him to come?

Nene: Yes. But I want him to come on his own accord when he is ready. The last thing he needs to feel for me is pity on top of his hatred.

Rindou: What if he is never ready? What will you do then?

Nene: Then he can forget. That might be better than forgiving in the long run, don’t you think?

_____end of flashback_______

Rindou: I understand you were upset over what happened but was it so hard to just send one letter? Why didn’t you ever reply? Give her a call? Something! She was waiting for you!

Isshiki: Letters? What letters?

Rindou: She sent you letters almost every week for two years but you never returned any of them.

Isshiki: Wait, I never got any letters. What are you talking about?

He storms back into the house late at night, clearly very livid. He furiously asks what they did with her letters. His mother tries to calm him down but he keeps repeating the question. His father says that he threw them away when they arrived causing Satoshi to sort of lose tension (like he lost everything). He tells his family that she died. “She told me she was in the hospital! That she was dying! Why couldn’t you have let me be by her side when she wanted me there? Was keeping me here that important to you? Why did you throw away those letters… why…”

“You’re all monsters. But I’m the worst.”

His brother catches him before he leaves, and shows him a box with all the letters he managed to save. He couldn’t forgive himself for keeping the secret from Satoshi but since he is engaged now, he understands what it’s like to love someone. The only reason he helped was that if Satoshi wasn’t the heir, the responsibility would fall on him and he couldn’t bear it.

Isshiki goes to his room and begins to read all the letters. He cries when he gets to the last one, requesting him to come to the hospital one final time. His mother tries to come in, telling him to eat something.

“She died believing I hated her, but that was never true to begin with. Why was I so terrible to her, mother? I didn’t even get to tell her I still love her.”

Chapter 8: A Flower’s Final Letter

He received a call from Nene’s mother to come over. When he arrives, he notices that she is much more receiving than last time. She tells him that his mother personally came over earlier and explained everything they did.

“That doesn’t excuse how badly I treated your daughter. I never deserved her to begin with.”

Her mom lets him see her family alter. He chokes back tears when he sees a picture of her genuine smile.

“Satoshi-kun, you did deserve Nene, and she deserved you as well. I could tell how much you two really loved each other. But it was the world that didn’t deserve the both of you together.”

She hands him Nene’s actual last letter that was never sent.

Nene’s last letter: She comments on how he remained stupid until the very end, but says that it’s alright since Isshiki wouldn’t be Isshiki if he wasn’t just a little bit of an idiot.

She says that she doesn’t resent him at all or even hold an ounce of hatred towards him. Regardless of how he feels towards her, she knows that her passing isn’t going to be easy to take. She knows he’ll regret things.

She confesses that she knew he was lying when she can to the restaurant. That he was acting tough. She’s sorry that she didn’t try harder to resolve things but she didn’t want to push it. Nene tells him it’s okay to mourn, but she doesn’t want him to get caught up on her; she wants him to move forward. She asks him to not regret their time together, including the good and bad.

Dying isn’t something she’s afraid of anymore, but she is worried about her family. She asks him to visit them every once in a while to make sure they are doing well.

Her heart becomes full when she thinks about him, so she wants him to feel the same whenever he thinks about her.

“Thank you for sincerely loving me, and for letting me love you in return. I truly have no regrets, because I know that in one moment in time, we were happy together and that’s all I need.

Maybe I do have one regret though. I’m sorry I rarely ever told you how I felt. So let me tell you here.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you, Satoshi.

Don’t think of this as a goodbye forever. Just a goodbye for now. And if the time is right, let us meet again.”

- Nene

[writeinspiration]

suggestions for a young writer? im 15 and i just started seriously writing about a year ago~ since then I've written mostly poetry but I really write other stuff like short stories or plays too! but i always have trouble making my ideas ideas into something and just deciding how or what i want to write. and i get so worried that i lose motivation! i think that i first want to tackle trying to make characters/a simple short story. advice, tips, or tricks? thank youuu!

Hi! I’m glad you’re ready to get started! Beingeager about writing is the best. Writing a poem is a lot like writing a shortstory, so you’re on the right track. Good writing is precise and almost lyrical.

It can be really difficult to maintain motivation.Most people will advise you to write every day, which is good advice, but it’sjust not always feasible. The more you write, the better you will get!

Personally, titles and concepts and characters areall equally likely to get me started on a project. A cool title might pop up inmy head, and then I develop what story and characters go with it. Or I’ll havea concept that I’ll develop and label. Other times, I start with a characterand figure out who they are and what they do.

Here’s my most popular post regarding charactercreation: https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/158687382194/how-do-you-create-characters-or-do-they-come-find

Keeping motivated can be really difficult whenyou’re unsure of your capabilities as a writer. But the more you wait to putyour ideas to the page, the harder it will be to pick things back up. Onceyou’ve gone a week without writing, one more day seems like nothing. One moreweek, one more month… where does it stop?

I’ve seen people suggest leaving off in the middleof a sentence. When you do that, you are setting up for success. You alreadyknow exactly how that sentence will end and where it will lead. So once you sitdown with it again, you can hit the middle of the sentence without staring at atotally blank page.

I have a lot of different posts and tags that mayhelp you out!

Writer’s block and depression (1), and again (2), and some pick-me-ups (3)

First drafts don’t have to be good. 

Write a whole bunch of crappy sentences if that’s what it takesto get a good one.

Don’t let it get you down. Just get it done.

Your big ideas are worth pursuing.

This post in particular will likely resonate with you and how you feel right now: https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/132168477614/ive-been-trying-to-write-for-years-unfortunately (full text included at the very, very bottom of this post)

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Useful tags:

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/search/young– stuff relating to young writers and characters

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/search/inspiration– inspiration

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/search/motivation– motivation

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/tagged/depression– depression

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– writing prompts

Specific posts that address some of your concerns:

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/144610505447/if-you-see-a-need-fill-it– If you see a need, fill it.

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/152075979524/fuckyeahyoungadultlit-tachycardiia– diversity in YA lit

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/132168477614/ive-been-trying-to-write-for-years-unfortunately– starting to write

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/131428782622/cliches-in-ya-romance– clichés in YA romance

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/131034862609/lizardpeopledearreader-honestly-if-stephanie– There’s always someone worse.

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/104205593649/jetpack-johnny-rose-for-a-tenner-actually– Curiosity is important.

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/23740953643/setting– starting with setting

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/151665809147/learning-the-essentials-of-plotting-your-novel– plotting

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/149405245039/i-have-an-insanely-bad-time-writing-dialogue-any– dialogue

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/169191903744/behind-me-is-infinite-power-before-me-is-endless– possibilities

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/167418537238/startledoctopus-ronibravo-i-started-writing– any reason to start writing is a good reason

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/96119396642/cranky-crustaceans-pupukachoo– Pixar’s rules for storytelling

30THNOVEMBER 2013

QUOTE REBLOGGEDFROM BLOTS& PLOTS WITH 105,191 NOTES

Young writers should read books past bedtime andwrite things down in notebooks when they are supposed to be doing somethingelse.

— Lemony Snicket  (via blotsandplots)

14THDECEMBER 2012

The question for each man to settle is not what hewould do if he had means, time, influence and educational advantages; thequestion is what he will do with the things he has. The moment a young manceases to dream or to bemoan his lack of opportunities and resolutely looks hisconditions in the face, and resolves to change them, he lays the corner-stoneof a solid and honorable success.

— Hamilton Wright Mabie

7THNOVEMBER 2017

PHOTO REBLOGGEDFROM FIXYOUR WRITING HABITS WITH 2,493 NOTES

[Image transcript:The Rules of Writing

1: Write crappy first drafts.2: Words don’t bleed. Cut them.3: Write now. Edit later.4: There are NO mistakes–only creative opportunities.5. Don’t think. Just write.6: Rules? There are rules?]

Starting to write:

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/132168477614/ive-been-trying-to-write-for-years-unfortunately

deathtotheselfie asked:I’ve been trying to write for years. Unfortunately I’m very young and theschooling I’ve received on writing is nothing like I what I write about. I’monly 14 now, but little phrases and ideas bounce around in my head. Howeverwhen I write I feel like it’s not good or mature enough because of my lack ofexperience. I can’t tend to think of original plots as I’m just surrounded inother people’s work. Do you have any advice on plot development? And do youthink I should continue trying to write?

Hi! Your question makes me quite sad. If you liketo write, then you should pursue it. It’s that simple.

School doesn’t help much in terms of creativewriting. Over the summer, when I was little, my mom would make my sister and mewrite short stories. It kept me in the habit of writing even when school wasn’tin session.

(Wanna know a secret? I often got stuck halfwaythrough my story, so I’d coerce my sister into showing me hers. Then I wouldwrite the same events but in my own words. I did this for quite a while onesummer. Maybe two.)

Not only does school keep you ridiculously busy,but it also doesn’t like teaching creative stuff much either, because math andscience are deemed as more important than anything related to the arts.

All those negative voices banging around in yourhead along with all the good ideas you have? You need to learn to silence them.Those things are what you are being trained to think.

Here’s what nobody seems to know about writing:you have to start  somewhere. No one starts off as an amazing writer.

People expect writers to have this magical well ofintuition, but honestly, it just comes from practice.

You know that thing about practicing 10,000 hoursin order to become a master at something? It applies to writing, too.

Writers write.

You need to watch and write things down–what youobserve can be the basis for characters or plot or whatever. Eavesdrop on astranger’s phone conversation to get a peek into other people’s lives. Sit on abench in the mall and watch people go by.

Do you know how babies learn? They observe otherpeople doing things and then try to mimic them.

I don’t mean that fledgling writers are babies, ofcourse, but I mean that you can get your best work by reading other people’swork.

Figure out what you like to read, what you don’t liketo read. And then ask yourself WHY.

What is it about that book you hated? Was it thecharacters? The plot? The slow story-telling?

What did you love about that one book? How did itmake you feel? What parts made you feel that way?

I was in middle school when I began reading a Series of Unfortunate Events  (I’m25, for comparison’s sake). Do you know what my writing sounded like while Iwas reading those? Lemony Snicket. It wasn’t on purpose, but that’s just whathappened. (Also for comparison’s sake, I now have had a short story publishedin an actual anthology and completed a 60-page poetry collection as my creativethesis, as well as a book that I’m trying to get published.)

The more you read, the more you gain. If you readenough books, then you’ll have influences from all over that create a uniquewriter: you.

You are the sum of everything you have ever reador seen or thought about.

Yes, you’re a teenager. But that doesn’t stop youfrom observing the world and teaching yourself to understand other writers’work.

If you want to write something but are worriedthat it sounds too much like somebody else, then figure out why it sounds thatway. Is it just you that thinks it sounds that way? Or do other people tell youthat as well? Find out what it is that makes it sound like that. Is it thenarration? The plot? The themes?

Regardless of your answers, you are able to makeit unique to you.

You are a writer, and whatever you write will beyours and yours alone.

As far as plot development goes, I find thatoutlining helps. I don’t always keep to the outline, but askingyourself “Then what happens?” after each event that you write down is thebest thing you can do for yourself.

A plot is a series of events. If you know whathappens naturally after something, then you write that down. It also helps ifyou understand WHY something happens.

She goes to the mall.

Then what happens?

She ends up going home and crying in her room.

Why? What caused this? What physical actionscaused her to want to leave the mall? What mental actions occurred because ofthe physical actions?

She runs into someone she used to be best friendswith, and they get into a fight. This makes her feel disappointed in her friendbut also unsure of herself because she doesn’t know what she has done to makeher friend act that way. She places the blame on herself instead of on herformer friend. This is because she has been told growing up that everything isher fault and that her younger brother can’t do anything wrong.

See what I mean? And it’s okay to ask yourselfwhat you would do in that situation. But your characters are not you. Theyprobably won’t react like you would. And that’s okay and important.

As I told my students last year, ask yourself WHYand HOW after each sentence, after each paragraph, after each plot point, aftereach whatever. It will keep your story going until it reaches its naturalconclusion.

Okay, this ended up being way, way longer than Iintended it to be, haha. But I’m completely serious and obviously verypassionate about this. And I can say way more on the subject at the drop of ahat, so if you have any more questions, then just give me a shout. :)

Best of luck. And don’t stop writing.

I mean it. :)

[hogwartswelcomesyou]

Can you please do the Baudelaire ( Sunny, Klause, and Violet) children from A Series of Unfortunate Events (from the books not the tv show) thanks!

Okay, for this one, we’ll have to do something different, because my analysis will be much more general, whereas our noble Ravenclaw mod Tori’s will be much more specific. Directly below is Tori’s, and then I’ll put down my spoilerific thoughts about the Baudelaire’s Sortings and the books in general all under a “read more” at the bottom. ~Slytherin Mod Tory

Violet: Ravenclaw

Violet is SUCH A Ravenclaw, and I love it! She’s intelligent, creative, inventive, and unique. Her ability to create something out of completely arbitrary objects inspired me so much as a kid that I started doing it myself! (haha). Violet is a perfect example of a Ravenclaw’s cleverness and love for learning coming together to create a person who can find a way to make the best of any situation.

Klaus: Ravenclaw (+ Gryffindor opinion) 

Alright, I completely understand the argument of Klaus being a Ravenclaw. To be perfectly honest, he probably is one. I just love the idea of him being sorted into Gryffindor! Klaus has been shown several times throughout the series to be incredibly brave. Granted, all the Baudelaire children have; it is somewhat a required character trait to be able to survive each of their increasingly perilous situations. However, somethings about Klaus’ courage stands out. He will stand up for his sisters no matter the consequences. He has been shown to not think twice before defending what he believes to be right, and doesn’t bat an eye in the face of the repercussions that come in the aftermath. Klaus is intelligent, yes, and he loves learning, but it’s his ability to say what he thinks and disregard any opposition that stands out to me. 

Sunny: Gryffindor

Sunny has shown herself from her very young age to be unafraid of anything. Most babies would cry/freak out if they were dangling in a cage hundreds of feet above the ground. Does Sunny? Absolutely not. As a literal toddler Sunny stares death in the face and basically laughs. She doesn’t care what gets thrown at her. She’s going to find a way out of it. (Mind you- AS A TODDLER.) Correct me if I’m wrong, but I seem to remember a scene where she scaled a wall using her teeth. Sunny wants nothing more than for her and her siblings to make it out of this entire ordeal alive. Yes, she is intelligent, and yes, she is cunning, but her bravery and courage no matter the situation is what solidifies her status as a Lion to me. 

(NOTE: She’s also a toddler, so it makes it somewhat more difficult to sort her. Cause, ya know, she’s not developed.) 

All right. My (Tory’s) thoughts. SPOILERS AHEAD.

A Series of Unfortunate Events, tome, is a very Ravenclaw-centric story, at least when it comes to its heroes.Think about it – most of the characters depicted well in the series arescholars with a specific school of interest who want nothing more than to learna lot and meet others who are likewise enthralled with learning. Uncle Monty –Duncan and Isadora – Quigley – Justice Strauss – Dewey Denouement – ournarrator, Lemony Snicket – and of course, our main three heroes, Violet, Klaus,and Sunny. Admittedly Sunny as a baby is a little hard to Sort given thatpeople change dramatically over the course of their childhood and thus it wouldbe hard to properly Sort a five-year-old let alone an infant, but evenshe develops her own distinct interest – cooking – over the course of theseries. Contrast this to what I would argue would be a much more diverse castof villains, house-wise – Count Olaf as Slytherin, Esme Squalor as Gryffindor,even Fiona as Hufflepuff. And I think this all comes back to the mysteriousVFD. 

Most of our heroes are aligned with VFD – or, at least, the“good” one. The story behind VFD is that apparently its members had to do somecovert and unsavory things to various people in order to follow the directivesof their book-savvy, supposedly wise organization that preached the greatergood, and that there was a schism that split the group in two. One side decidedto follow the organization’s code of morality, and the other did not.Ravenclaws tend to take their morality from outside sources – most notablyinstitutions outside themselves, like society at large. Ravenclaw students maybe creative and like being free, but they still are practical enough to seethings as they are and pacifistic enough that they sometimes will find ways tocolor in the lines rather than antagonize anyone. (See Cho Chang and Marietta Edgecombe as examples of this.) Each of the other houses values something that could counteract that impulse. Slytherins have too much ambition andself-preservation. Gryffindors have too much rebelliousness and love ofattention. Even Hufflepuffs have too much loyalty to their inner-circle. And thusyou have one side of VFD largely made up of intelligent, but ineffectual Ravenclaws andanother largely made up of clever, but selfish Slytherins, Gryffindors, andHufflepuffs.

And now we come back to the Baudelaires, who as ourheroes show both the good and bad of the house of Ravenclaw. All three areintelligent, scholarly sorts who are passionate about their respective schoolof interest and who constantly have to react to everything going wrong in theirworld as it comes at them and fit in as best as they are able in thosecircumstances. In every location they arrive in, they try their very hardest tofit in and avoid conflict at every chance they get (except allowing themselvesto be taken by Olaf, but that’s an issue of self-defense). The only time theybreak the law themselves is when they have been framed for murder and have noother choice. They also try to orient themselves using the good VFD’s code ofhonor, rather than solely listening to their own hearts and instincts – this isbest expressed in The Penultimate Peril, where they make choices basedsolely on the advice they were given and when confronted on those decisions canonly come back with one response, “What else could I do?” This response exemplifiesone thing – that they saw no other logical action to take, and so had to takethe one they chose. Throughout the books as well, all three Baudelaires tend torely on academic sources for their answers – information, statistics, and factsthat can be measured and has a right or wrong answer, rather than emotionalintelligence. This may be part of the reason why Olaf is so able to sway people to his side while the Baudelaires and the rest of the “good” VFD is ignored.

Now the best thing about the Baudelaires in my mind, however, is that theybreak away from the mold set by the other “good” VFD members. All of the otherRavenclaws in the series are sort of beaten into submission, disheartened bytheir lack of progress and having to hide to avoid persecution from the “bad”VFD, but not the Baudelaires. They see that both VFD and the world around themis corrupt, decide that it’s not practical to follow either of their codes, anduse their knowledge and intellect to try to find a way to take care ofthemselves the best that they can. They actually take a leaf out of Olaf’s bookand realize they can’t just passively look for answers from someone else – theyhave to go out and find some of those answers themselves. And this is wheretheir intellect transforms into wisdom.

[beer-and-breakdowns]

1-117 ;)

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

I guess I’m not too confused at the minute, but a confusing situation I deal with sometimes is falling for someone that I probably shouldnt, and not knowing how to and not being able to deal with it.

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

Sometimes. Rarely though.

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

Yes, and no. I’d be concerned and probably kind of annoyed, but I guess its their life, yano.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?

Yeah! Sometimes too easy, but I’m a positive dude.

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?

I was probably listening to music knowing me

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

Probably my boi, Leo

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

My heart would drop and I would get upset and angry. I would probably confront my partner and take it from there.

8: Are you close with your dad?

Yeah, to an extent. I’m happy with it, we’re not NOT close, I guess we could be closer, but we’re close!

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

Hahahahaha, next joke

10: What are you listening to?

Shadows Fall, and I highly recommend them to anyone and anything with ears

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

Ummmmmmm, this is hard. Probably something lemony, like 7-up or sprite, but my answer would probably be different tomorrow

12: Do you like hickeys?

Kinda, not gonna lie. In small amounts obviously, lets not look battle scarred… unless thats ur thing

13: What time do you go to bed?

Way later than what is healthy

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

I dont think so

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

After some highly scientific testing… nope

16: Do you always answer your texts?

I try but I’m horrible at seeing messages and notifications

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

Odd question, no, quite the opposite actually

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

Today!

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

If prof. pictures count, sure

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I think I was too tired to think, so probably just thoughts about actually sleeping

21: Is anyone else in the room with you?

Nope… unless theres a ghost in here o.o

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?

Depends

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

Probably not

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

I guess, but I dont dwell on that stuff

25: In the past week, have you cried?

Nope

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

Grey. Not black, for once.

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?

Actually, yes sometimes

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?

Maybe

29: Do you have a best friend?

Yup!!:)

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

Heck no

31: Who was your last call/text message from?

I had a text from my dad lmao

32: Are you mad at anyone?

I dont think so

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yup

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

20

35: How many more days until your birthday?

Woah, ummm, 88 I think

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?

Nope, but I have been on a vacation at the start of summer already so probably nothing, rip

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

More than my own sex

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

Nah

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

Maybe, but I’m not sure

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

Yup

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?

Depends, if you’re both consenting adults then nope, if you’re happy, you’re happy

42: Are you available?

You know it

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

Well, high school actually JUST ended for me, so one

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

If I HAD to, probably nose I guss maybe?? I’m not a huge piercing guy so idk

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?

Definitely, I’m friends with most of my exes, just dependa why you borke up

46: Do you regret anything?

Kinda, maybe, but again, I tend not to dwell

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

Good music and a love interest… sounds like the title of something relatively mediocre hahaha

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?

Yeah

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?

Probably

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

Ummmm, a few reasons

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

Probably

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

Very very very rarely

53: What was the last thing you ate?

Pizza, lmao, whats health?

54: Did you get any compliments today?

I think, maybe

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?

Very unsure

56: Do you own anything from other countries?

I think so

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?

Girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life?

Wales for 100% of my life

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?

Ages ago, I dont go anywhere hahaha

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

Yeah, but not like THE spin the bottle, just the version everyone plays as kids, so actually, no

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

No, thats lame

62: Who do you text the most?

I dont text, sooooo, I guess my dad

63: What was the last movie you saw?

Kong: Skull Island, and it wasn’t great, not gonna lie folks

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

I dont have one, so literally nothing hahaha

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

None that I can remember, so if I did have any, they must have been pretty lame, but that was a decent year. MITB 2011, Cena Vs. Punk, Great match ;)

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

Nope

67: Do you curse around your parents?

Nah

68: Are you happy with where you live?

Yeah, why not

69: Picture of yourself?

It’ll be on the end, yo

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

Monogamous, but if people are happy in oepn ended relationships I got no issues

71: Have you ever been dumped?

Yup

72: What do you most like about making out?

Everything. Thats a cheap answer but making out is one of my favourite things on this planet.

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

Nope

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

Mixed bag really, sometimes

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

Depends, I like faces obviously. Hair can be really pretty. Um, I dunno if this is weird but hands can be pretty sometimes I guess hahaha. Midriffs are cool too h'okay

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

I cant remember tbh, is that bad??

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

Nope

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

Nope

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

Y O U

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

If I really likes them and I was ready for the responsibility yeah. Right now, probably not.

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

Yeah

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

Not a lot of people

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?

Nope

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?

Like, never hahaha

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

Yeah

86: How can I win your heart?

Have a good taste in music, be funny, be as kind and caring as you can be and support me at all times, just love me gosh darn it

87: What is your astrological sign?

Libra

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Watching YouTube videos

89: Do you cook?

I cant cook a lot of dishes, but yeah I think I can

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

Depends what ya mean by “flame”

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

Yes

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

Monogamous, sometimes too quickly

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

This is gonna feel petty, but its a petty question. I have a major thing for blonde hair. I like natural looks, nothing fancy or over the top. Small is cute, but then so is tall sometimes, depends on the person.

94: Name four things that you wish you had!

The right relationshipMoneyA custom built guitarA record deal

95: Are you a player?

No

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

Nope

97: Are you a tease?

I can be I guess

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

Not YET

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

Yeah

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

Yeah

101: Hugs or Kisses?

Both are AWESOME, depends on the situation, I guess off the top of my head, kisses

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?

I can be

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

Depends, sometimes its their personality, other times its their appearence, depensa what I’m paying more attention to at the time

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

Yeah

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

Nah, thats bad, it would suck, but I’d do the right thing

106: Do you flirt a lot?

Sometimes

107: Your last kiss?

My ex

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

Maybe, but idk

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

Nooe

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

The person I like

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

Nope

112: Does someone like you currently?

I have no idea

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

Yup

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

Honestly, serious relationships

115: Ever made out with just a friend?

Nope

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?

Depends on how good the relationship is

117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.

Nice question ;)

[ezra-blue]

You’ve Got Something - 33

For @baronvonriktenstein‘s Messy!AU

33: A Devil In Your Details

Gojyo’s clearly struggling, and Hakkai doesn’t know how to help but to start showing his frustration. Luckily, someone else might have the right idea.

Word Count: ~3300

TRUST ARC - PART 4

33: A Devil in Your Details

Gojyo was usually a lot more enthusiastic with his meals. Hakkai had grown used to Gojyo shoveling every bite in and complimenting him as he chewed. Hakkai would often consider scolding him for talking with his mouth full, but Gojyo's genuine excitement was endearing.

Gojyo shuffling cauliflower through his bearnaise sauce and watching his meat go cold was disconcerting.

“I picked up this recipe in France, believe it or not,” Hakkai tried, pointedly swiping some of the sauce up with his fork. “The sauce, anyway. I've found it goes well on nearly everything, steak, eggs, fish... er, what do you think? Did you like it, or is it too lemony?”

Gojyo didn't respond, his eyes down, but Hakkai leaned in and Gojyo snapped to attention, as if he'd just realized Hakkai had been speaking. “Oh, uh. Yeah. It's really good. It's just as good as everything you make.” He cast his eyes down again, and Hakkai knit his brow up.

“Ah, er, do you... how was your day? Busy?”

“Um. Same as always, I guess.” Gojyo finally speared a slice of his meat and chewed slowly. Hakkai felt a tiny hint of relief – he was eating, at least – but something was very wrong.

Hakkai pushed his plate away. “Gojyo, has something happened?”

Gojyo jerked to attention again, eyes wide like a dog who'd been caught chewing a shoe. “Uh – I...” He grimaced and put his fork down. “Don't worry about it, okay? It's... it's something I gotta deal with.”

Being told not to worry only ever made Hakkai worry more, and he fretted silently as he and Gojyo washed the dishes together. He knew Gojyo was watching him now, as his fingers trembled and made the silverware clatter in his fingers, as he tried not to fumble his good copper. He nearly dropped his best saucepan, but Gojyo dipped low and caught it before it hit the ground.

“Jeez, watch it!”

“Sorry!” Hakkai clapped a hand to his mouth, then accepted the pan as Gojyo hoisted himself back to a stand, setting it aside, somewhere safe. “Ah, good catch. I, er, I--” He sighed, and grabbed onto Gojyo's arms. “I'm just concerned.”

“You're still worryin', huh?” Gojyo bit his lower lip, but Hakkai set the pan in his hand down so he could run his fingers through Gojyo's hair, then down the two narrow scars on his cheek.

“I'm afraid I have to.” Gojyo winced at Hakkai’s ministrations, but Hakkai shook his head. “You're important to me, and if something is hurting you, I want to alleviate the pain.” Hakkai couldn't tell if the touch was soothing or only riling up stress, like angry fish yawping at an insect on the surface of a stream. “Please talk to me.”

Gojyo caught his hand, then kissed the back of it. “Dammit, I'm stressin' you out, huh?” He ran his thumb over Hakkai's knuckles, tracing his long finger bones. “I had somethin' rough come up at work, okay?” He broke eye contact. “It's got me low, and I wanna deal with it, but I don't know what to do about it yet. And I can't talk about it yet, okay?”

“Is it that bad?” Hakkai frowned. Gojyo didn't say anything, he just shivered. It might have been a weak nod. “Gojyo...”

“Tell me ya understand.” Gojyo’s voice was low and tender, like his bedroom voice but with devastation instead of intimacy. “Tell me you'll wait 'til I can sort it enough to explain it right.”

“I'll understand anything you have to say. Please.” Hakkai tried to push a little closer, tried to wrap an arm around his waist. Gojyo, however, pulled back, and Hakkai felt as if Gojyo was trying to put up a barrier with that casual smile.

“Once I figure it out, I promise.” He slid his hands into his pockets. “Uh, I think I gotta go home. Got some stuff to take care of around the place, and all.” He kissed Hakkai on the cheek. “Think you could see me out?”

Gojyo kissed Hakkai good-bye at the door, and Hakkai watched, forlorn, as Gojyo clambered into his car and drove off. Ryuu wound around his ankles, mewing for attention, and though Hakkai crouched to pick him up and scratch behind his ears, the empty space inside of him remained a black void, an empty space, a vacuum. Nature abhorred a vacuum, and that darkness left by Gojyo's absence, in the wake of Hakkai's confusion, quickly filled with something even blacker, something toxic.

He set Ryuu down and took up his cell phone, not even hesitating as he scrolled down into his contacts and dialed Koumyou's phone number. The phone rang a few times, but Koumyou picked up. “Good evening, Hakkai. To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?”

Hakkai forced a half-hearted chuckle, even though his free hand was shaking at his side. His control was dwindling fast, and though he knew it, he was doing nothing to stop it. “I'm afraid it's not pleasant.” He crossed his arm over his chest and began to pace behind his sofa. “I'm concerned about Gojyo.”

Hakkai heard the rustle of a newspaper, then the closing of a door. “Yes, I can imagine you might be.”

That smarmy -- what did he know? Hakkai felt his temper fraying, but had no capacity to do anything about it. Why bother? "I need to know what you and he have been discussing."

Koumyou didn't hesitate, matching Hakkai's sharp tone with firm admonishment: "And you know very well I can't disclose anything. It confuses me that you are asking, since you know my commitment to my patient's privacy."

"But he's not merely your patient.” He bit the word off, and his weak attempts to control his voice failed: “He's my lover, and someone I dearly, desperately want to trust!" Hakkai balled his hand tight, fingernails digging into his palm. "It frightens me that he's hiding things! What if he's tricking me? What if all this, this subterfuge, this distance he's making, what if he's just been humoring me all along, keeping me at arm's length, just so he can turn around and hurt me like--" He choked on the words, and Koumyou sighed.

"Hakkai, please listen. Take a deep breath, hold it, release it slowly." Hakkai heard Koumyou inhale, and nervously tried to match it, but air burned in his throat and his exhale scraped the whole way out. "Hakkai, is this a healthy thought pattern, or is this borne out of paranoia?"

Hakkai, like a dog baited, bit back, "I've been wounded before, I see no reason to leave myself open to being wounded again--"

"Yes, that is true. But you know yourself prone to paranoia based on that same pain." Koumyou's calm was palpable. Hakkai wished he could touch it, hold it, feel it, crush it. "This is just how you have chosen to shoulder the burden of your truth."

"I chose nothing!"

"Perhaps it was thrust upon you, but Hakkai, listen." Koumyou spoke even slower, as the hair on the back of Hakkai's neck prickled up. "Those experiences are in your past, and perhaps you can take those lessons and apply them to the future, but is this situation truly the same as the last? Is it possible you are letting your past mistakes cast a bad light on the new experiences?"

Hakkai gripped the phone tight and dug his heels in. "I learned from those mistakes! That's why I can't let it happen again!"

"Have you, now?" Koumyou hummed. "It seems to me you intend to relive them. What do you stand to gain from forcing yourself to relive something so painful over again?"

"I intend not to!" Hakkai was shouting, he could feel the walls close, his voice too loud, his form too small to contain his fury. "If Gojyo is going to hurt me, I'll cut him off before he gets the chance!"

"Ah. I see the young man I knew three years ago is still a part of you." That caught Hakkai off-guard, and he stumbled as he realized what he was doing, how angry he'd become. "Do you intend to release that anger on others before you know if they have earned it?"

Hakkai struggled for words, the anger in him warring with the sense Koumyou was offering. "I... I'm not..."

“Has Gojyo seen this side of you?”

“I...” Hakkai couldn’t answer, not even the denial. He’d wanted this part of him to die.

"We never finished helping you release that anger." Koumyou no longer sounded the calm, detached professional; he actually sounded sad. "I know you still live in pain, and that pain can so quickly lead you to anger. It’s a frightening thing when your passive aggression becomes violent.” Hakkai closed his eyes, breathing slowly, the way Koumyou had taught him. He could feel his taut control returning, like a manic being strapped to a hospital bed. “You shouldn't have to live with that poison boiling in your soul. Certainly, such anger is warranted sometimes, but it must be controlled, used only as needed. I speak to you as a friend, Hakkai, with your best interests in mind: your reaction is valid, but it is extreme."

Hakkai shivered at this, but he tried to reflect and realized he couldn't remember what he'd been saying. "I'm... I'm sorry."

"Of course you are. Hakkai, if you wish to speak with me face to face, you have my telephone number." Koumyou paused. "And, again, as a friend? Your Gojyo doesn't deserve that anger. Please temper it before you speak to him next."

The reminder of why he'd called in the first place sent a bolt of pain through Hakkai. "I understand. Goodbye." He hung up, and immediately felt himself deflate.

How long had it been since he'd done that?

It took all of Hakkai's strength for him to carry himself to a chair before his knees buckled, and he put his face in his hands. Ryuu was crouched under the dinner table, hackles up, keeping his distance; he'd frightened him. He'd frightened himself. "I'm not that same monster. I'm... I'm not..." His self-assurances fell flat even to his ears, and he found himself staring at his palms. "I don't want to be angry at him. I don't want that."

Despite his frustration, he knew that exploding at Gojyo would likely just put him off. He was obviously in a precarious position himself. He was certain that if Gojyo weren't stressed, he'd likely laugh it off and then cold-shoulder him for a little while. Unloading on Gojyo when he was struggling under his own burden could break him, and he knew as well as anyone how fragile Gojyo was under his surface.

“Oh, Gojyo...” He squeezed his eyes shut, wishing he could stop seeing red. “Gojyo, I don't want this for us...”

Gojyo only knew his mind was wandering again when his elbow slipped and jostled his toolbox and the wrench clattered from the workbench to the floor, jostling him aware again. Goku looked out at him from under the minivan he'd been looking at, as Gojyo ducked down and picked the dropped wrench up up. Goku grinned at him.

“I didn't see that, boss.”

“Sure.” Gojyo hoped his expression was at least a half-smile at the joke, then shrugged, lowering his head again and glancing back down at the daily manifest, pretending to read it again. He knew he should have been working on a tire replacement, but for the life of him, he couldn't concentrate. He groaned and rolled his hips back against the table, then heaved a sigh. He knew that standing around, mulling Banri's stupid blackmail in his head over and over wasn't getting him anywhere.

It was just making him miserable, the same kind of miserable that was making it impossible for him to enjoy Hakkai's company for the last few days. 

How the fuck was he supposed to choose between sinking back into being a lowlife just when he’d thought he’d escaped that fate and losing the person who made being good really worth it? He’d thought he’d earned Hakkai, that Hakkai was his sign that he was on the right path. What the fuck gave Banri the right to pull him back the wrong way? And how the fuck was he going to have his cake and eat it too when he obviously hadn’t overcome the pain Banri could dredge up so easily? He could hardly remember the last time he’d finished a meal; even Hakkai’s cooking had felt hollow. The compulsion to starve was a really, really bad sign.

He was definitely more scared of losing Hakkai by a long shot, but all of a sudden, he couldn’t see a way where that wouldn’t happen.

"You look way down." Gojyo snapped to attention when he realized Goku had vaulted to sit on the bench beside him, swinging his feet off the ground. Goku leaned over, his usual goofy grin in place. "What, you need a pick me up? I can watch the shop if you want a coffee." He winked, and Gojyo groaned and shook his head.

Coffee sounded good, but his stomach twisted into knots at the thought of drinking it. Let alone having to come face to face with Hakkai to take it.

"I'm fine, short stuff. Just, junk on my mind."

"What, for real?" Goku guffawed, then knocked on Gojyo's head. "Your skull doesn't sound heavier than usual!"

"Quit it, ya damn punk." Gojyo's laugh tumbled carelessly loose and died before he could mean it as he brushed Goku's hand back. "It's just... stuff. I'm alright, okay?"

"I don't believe you, but whatever." Goku shrugged and began to swing his feet again, letting his focus drift to the opposite wall. "Hey, Gojyo?"

"What's up, monkeybrains?"

Goku hesitated, and the table rattled as he drummed his fingers on the surface. "Um." He stopped, and turned to look at him. "How do you tell someone you love 'em?"

Gojyo took it in, then grinned. "What, he doesn't know?" He elbowed Goku in the side, and Goku cackled and pushed him back.

"I dunno! But I wanna say it! I wanna say it so I can hear it and he can hear it!" He hunched down like a spring coiling tight and ready to burst skyward, all his teeth showing in a wide, wide grin. "I'm his first serious boyfriend, and he's mine, so I'm gonna be the first guy to ever tell him that! I mean, other than his dads, y'know?" He chuckled a little, and when Gojyo laughed along this time, he meant it.

"Well, parents don't count. Uh, I mean, I guess they count, but it's a different kind of love, yeah. Hopefully." He scrunched his nose, and his fingers gripped the edge of the bench as he tried to shove that thought back. "But, uh, I dunno."

"I was just thinkin' of sayin' it next time he takes me out or something, or if he has me over. Just part of the conversation. 'Cause someday, I wanna say it to him every day." Goku's cheeks were a little pink with the excitement, his hands warm as he nudged Gojyo's arm again. "How'd you tell Hakkai?"

Well, fuck. This conversation was about to hurt. "You're assumin' a little too much." Gojyo crossed his arms, and Goku deflated.

"You gotta be kiddin' me."

"I wish it were that simple, but it ain't."

"No, no way!" Goku threw his hands out. "You mean you ain't actually said it yet?!"

"No." Gojyo thought there should be a "fuck" somewhere in that statement, but his bitterness walled it back and let it reverberate in his chest. 

"Why the heck not?!" Goku jumped off the work bench, gesturing aggressively at Gojyo. Gojyo ducked his head down and dodged Goku's glare.

"Same reason you probably ain't just blurted it out to Sanzo yet." He jabbed a finger into Goku's chest. "You don't wanna hear him say, 'I don't feel the same.' 'Cause that sucks."

"Gojyo!"

"No, you know what? Hakkai is smarter than me. Fuck it, he's better than me.” The words scraped Gojyo as he said them, but it was the honest truth. His truth, he thought, echoing Koumyou in his mind. “He's sophisticated and educated and he knows how to live clean and make things good, and he's the prettiest fucking guy I know. What the fuck gives me any right to stake a claim on him?"

Goku set his hands on his hips. "He likes you."

"Fuck," Gojyo scoffed, and advanced a step away from the table. "Maybe he shouldn't. Besides, you talk like a big shit, but ain't you scared? Shit like that can scare a dude off, and trying to put that word where it ain’t wanted destroys everything around it damn fast, and you know Sanzo ain't the warm and fuzzy type."

"So?" Goku stood his ground even as Gojyo tried to tower over him. "Maybe I'm scared. It is scary, putting yourself out there like that! But I won't know unless I try." He brought his fists down in front of his chest, clenching them tight with determination. "I love him. Nothin's gonna change that, and he might as well know. I ain't askin' him to say it back, but if he does, that'll make the risk worth it." He huffed, puffing his chest out, and Gojyo raised an eyebrow at him. "It's worth it, ain't it? Being loved back?"

Even the thought of that made Gojyo's maelstrom of frustration feel a little smaller, like a spot of light was beating the storm back. "Yeah." He closed his eyes for a second, just imagining that he could have that. "I guess." He stepped back, leaning on the table again and apprising Goku, toe to tip. "So, tell me, O Wise Monkeywrench, let's say you do love your Sanzo, but you got this thing that you gotta do. If you do it, well, it ain't a good thing and it could cause you big problems in the long run, but if you don't do it, and you do the right thing instead, you risk losing Sanzo." He held both hands out. "What do you do?"

Goku didn't hesitate. "The right thing." He crossed his arms. "Duh."

Gojyo sucked his cheeks in. He'd expected Goku to struggle, but no. "That simple, is it?"

"Yeah! I mean, even if doing what's right means Sanzo'll stop talking to me, would I want him if he's really okay with me doing something wrong?" Gojyo bit his lip, as Goku fidgeted and added, "And, really, what are you gonna do that's so wrong, anyway?"

Gojyo let his shoulders fall. "Eh. I wasn't a good kid, y'know."

"So? You're not a kid anymore, boss." Goku crossed his arms, brow furrowed. "You grew up, and even if you did wrong before, you're doin' right now!" Goku gestured around him. "You changed! Everyone does! Heck, I'm breathing proof!" He beamed again and thumped his own chest. "The 'me' here isn't the 'me' that was here before. Not yesterday or last week, or even before that."

"Yeah?" Gojyo raised an eyebrow, and Goku nodded, his shoulders steady, self-assured.

"Yeah. I mean, yesterday, I'd only changed oil a thousand times, tomorrow, it'll be a thousand and six, y'know?" He grinned broadly, and this time, when Gojyo laughed, he really meant it. Goku let him laugh, but grabbed his shoulder. "Look, I dunno what's got you so worried, but look, Hakkai likes the 'you' that you are, and the 'you' you've become. I mean, up until you got into this funk, you've been way happier than you were before you met him." He set his hands on his hips. “But, see, that you? That you wasn't the you that did bad stuff, that's the you that got here, into this garage, and helping me pay my rent. The you that does the right thing, that's the you Hakkai likes. Maybe even loves.”

Gojyo felt the bottom drop out of his stomach, and his knees locked tight in case the floor was about to follow. “Wait, you really think?”

Goku's expression flattened, eyebrows low, lips thin, disbelief plain in his eyes, but then he smirked. “You mean you can't tell?”

Gojyo didn't have to ruminate on that long. Those flutters in his chest when Hakkai looked at him, the butterflies, the seafoam churning in his chest and guts, the ache of longing he felt whenever he looked at Hakkai, it all matched with his desire to hear Hakkai's voice, to sit and talk for ages about everything and nothing or just to be beside him, to fall asleep at his side and wake up with their limbs all tangled, and Hakkai - if his actions spoke to his thoughts - wanted the same. Hakkai invited him in, opened his doors wide, greeted him with a smile, Hakkai worried for him when he was worried, and when he touched Gojyo's hand or palm, his fingers trembled a little. He was feeling the butterflies too.

“Yeah, you know what? You might have it.” Gojyo put his hand over his mouth, trying to cover the pink in his cheeks but only succeeding in smearing oil down his face. Goku snickered at him, but he didn't care, he couldn't stop his smile. “Fuck, if he does... I gotta tell him, yeah.” He clenched a fist, determination setting in. “And I know what I'm gonna do.”

His decision was made.

[ivegotsomethingtosay]

A Series of Unfortunate Events (opinion piece)

From Page to Screen to Screen... Again...

Normally, this would be the point in the week where I’d post a movie review, but seeing as nothing very interesting came out this weekend, I decided to try something new. Today, I’ll be looking at both the 2004 movie and recent Netflix TV adaptations of Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events, and seeing how they each hold up against the books on which they’re based. Sure, there’s about a dozen other articles/video essays that I can think of off the top of my head that deal with the same question of “which is better,” but being that I’m such a big fan of the books, I figured I’d throw my hat into the ring, an expression which here means: “write a big long think piece for my blog that nobody reads because I’m bored at work.”

So anyway, there seemed to be a general sigh of relief when Netflix dropped their long-awaited adaptation of the classic 21st century children’s series, which was seen by many as a sort of apology for the crimes committed by the 2004 Jim Carey version. “UGH,” said the collective millennial public, “FINALLY we get a proper adaptation of these books I haven’t picked up in over a decade!” The whole thing felt eerily similar to the reaction against the Star Wars prequels when The Force Awakens came out almost two years ago (holy shit, it’s been almost two years hasn’t it?) The fact is, no matter which side of either debate you stand on, it’s impossible to deny that we’ve backed ourselves into something of a corner when it comes to judging movies/television on its own merits. Save for the occasional original gem, the vast majority of modern entertainment is comprised of re-workings and re-hashes of material that’s previously existed in some form or another, meaning it’s impossible to analyze said material without at least discussing its fidelity to the original source, and close to impossible to not let that influence how you think about it on its own. No, you CAN’T like Episode I because Jar-Jar isn’t nearly as funny a Chewbacca. No, you CAN’T say Game of Thrones is better than the books because Daario’s hair isn’t blue in the TV series (seriously, this is the shit people argue about now-a-days).

And now, it appears not even A Series of Unfortunate Events is safe, which is really *ahem* unfortunate, considering Dan Handler’s 13-part YA saga might be one of the best things to happen to children’s literature since… ever. No, seriously, go back an pick up one of those books. Dust it off and shower yourself with some of with wittiest, most (literally) devastatingly brilliant writing this side of Oscar Wilde. For those who grew up with the Baudelaire orphans, these books were a watershed. Not only did they accomplish the insurmountable task of actually getting us to read on our own when we were 9-years old, but they taught us all the hard lessons about life, death, and morality that the adults were too scared to mention even amongst themselves.

So yeah, of course we were going to get a movie with a $150 million budget once they were selling in the same leagues as Harry Potter. And yeah, of course we were going to get a Netflix series once streaming gave us the opportunity to do long-form storytelling on a large canvas without spending $150 million. Which one of them is better? Neither, if you ask me, but I’d argue that bashing them in relation to each-other and/or in relation to the books isn’t going to get us anywhere. A “Cinema Sins” video is going to take us nowhere on the journey to analyzing great art, or even appreciating it. And if there’s anything to come out of the zeitgeist in the last couple of decades that could clarify as great art, it’s A Series of Unfortunate Events.

To start, I want to talk about what each of these adaptations do right. I’ll come right off the bat and say that I love both the show and the movie for many different reasons, and that even though the books will always hold the top spot in my mind, they hold that spot for reasons that go beyond some bullshit like whether Klaus wears glasses or not.

The show, for one, covers a lot of ground. I really despise judging an adaptation on how much they cut out of the source material (more on that later), but there’s something to admire about how closely Netflix’s A Series of Unfortunate Events sticks to the books. Four novels in and it seems like everything on the page has ended up on screen and then some. Adapting for long form television has given the showrunners (one of whom is Handler himself) to actually expand on the story, something rarely seen even in our Game of Thrones age. The argument of whether or not the show “gets the books right” is rendered almost completely irrelevant because it IS the books, just with Neil Patrick Harris. We get to witness all the stuff we’ve been picturing in our mind for years, we get to see the Lucky Smells Lumber Mill come to life, we get to experience going to the movies with Uncle Monty. I think a lot of the reason fans responded so well to the show was because it reflected the books so slavishly, giving us exactly what we asked for by giving us everything we asked for, all at once. It reminded me a lot of the PBS Pride and Prejudice in that it was difficult not to be a fan of the book and not be a fan of the show for no other reason than the show treated the book as a Bible.

The film, on the other hand, is two hours long. Not only that, but it spends those two hours going through the first three novels in the series, something that takes close to six hours in Netflix land. Our automatic instinct is to see this as a fault, but when was the last time you actually watched the movie? Rather, when was the last time you read the first three books? They’re fantastic, sure, but they’re also fantastic books. What enjoys and pleases us sitting with a bulk of paper by a crackling fireplace might not bring us the same joy when sitting in a dark, stuffy room with dozens of other people. One of the big faux pas in all these “which one is better” conversations is a misunderstanding of what different mediums can do and what can be achieved in each. The 2004 film might compress the books, but it illustrates them beautifully. The detail isn’t in how well we get to know each member of Olaf’s troupe, it’s in the little, subtle ways in which they express themselves onscreen. Sure we don’t get to spend hours and hours with Uncle Monty like we would watching the show or reading the books, but with Billy Connolly’s exceptional performance, we feel like we’ve spent hours with him.

The fact is, taken on its own merits, the 2004 Series of Unfortunate Events is a great movie. The aesthetic, the visual storytelling, the writing, and the performances are all so universally fantastic that comparing it to the books feels oddly irrelevant. The word “adaptation” implies some level of interpretation. It implies a level of taking what’s on the page and filtering it through our own personal beliefs and opinions. For all the talk about which one of these versions is “better,” little has been said about the different contexts in which they were made. The general attitude towards the concept of “evil,” which is a big theme in the Series books, was vastly different in 2004 than it is (was?) in 2016. In 2004, the United States had just invaded Iraq. We were still reeling from the single most devastating terrorist attack in human history, and our enemies seemed, at least at the time, very concrete. In the film, there’s a lot more of an emphasis on the idea of “fire” as a weapon. The wreckage of the Baudelaire mansion is shot and treated with the sobriety of a lot of post-911 photography. Jim Carey’s Olaf is significantly more insidious than Neil Patrick Harris’. He gets what we wants through fear mongering and cunning, often fooling nice, reasonably intelligent adults through a series of carefully planned and lethal actions. Much like… you know… a terrorist.  

In the Netflix series, however, the enemy isn’t so much “evil” as it is stupidity. Olaf in the show is treated like a complete idiot who just so happens to get his way because literally everyone else is too stupid to know what’s going on. One could argue that while Olaf is the source of the conflict, the real antagonist of the show is Mr. Poe, who, despite “seeming” to care about the kids, constantly places them in harmful, potentially life threatening situations because he thinks he knows better. There isn’t a set enemy here. The enemy, if you can call it that, is ourselves, our own blindness to the reality of our present situation. If that sounds familiar, it’s because it’s one of the many excuses we gave for electing a fucking James Bond villain into one of the most powerful positions in the world. Donald Trump is an idiot, sure, but he’s an idiot with access to nukes, and *apparently* that’s somehow our fault.

You see what I’m getting at here? Whether intentionally or not, art is always in some way reflecting the world in which its produced, and that’s especially true of Series. One could argue that, simply by consequence of the time it was born into, the Netflix show is closer in tone and aim to what Handler originally intended, but I’m not sure I’d agree with that. Sure, the show is significantly more ironic than the movie, much like the books. It contains much more references to pop culture, classic literature, and the world in which it was written, much like the books. But unlike the books, everything I just said comes off as funny, surreal, and at times even distancing. Watching the Netflix show is like watching an eight-hour long Wes Anderson film. It’s fun, colorful, and WAY more educated than you are, but for those very reasons, its harder to identify with what’s going on up on screen. The books, on the other hand, are deeply involving, deeply dark, and deeply funny. It’s a swirl of contradictions that can really only work properly when you’re reading it off a page. Postmodernism works differently on film than it does in literature. Translating directly from one to the other causes a kind of whiplash that the show suffered from on multiple occasions.

See, this is why I’ll always treasure the books. Specifically the Snicket books, because while I’ve gotten emotionally attached to characters in other stories and novels, Series was able to ignite the imagination in such a specific way, that literally taking it and putting it up on screen automatically lessens the effect. When I was ten, I had no idea what the Squalors’ endlessly large penthouse in Eratz Elevator actually looked like. I had no clue what it would be like to see Hector’s hot-air home in Vile Village. I have only the vivid, mysterious pictures that were painted in my mind, and nothing Netflix or Nickelodeon can conjure up will ever compare to that.

I envy all the kids who are going to grow up watching the Netflix series. I envy all of them who are going to go back and experience the movie as a result. What I do not envy is missing out on one of the better reading experiences of a lifetime in favor of either of those things, or vice versa. There’s an important lesson to be learned from all this: when we pit up art against itself, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to appreciate it on a deeper level. When we breathe a sigh of relief when we get the adaptation we always wanted, we miss out on the chance to challenge, and possibly refine our own points of view. Sometimes, we loose sight of what makes these things so lovable in the first place, and that’s unfortunate.

[inventiveflower]

NAME OF YOUR MUSE: Violet Emily Baudelaire

PICTURE YOU LIKE / BEST OF FANART:

TWO HEADCANONS YOU HAVE FOR YOUR MUSE THAT YOU NEVER TOLD ANYONE

1. She has a small notebook and she draws in it whenever she gets the chance. While it’s mostly ideas for inventions, there’s also sketches of people (mostly Quigley) and random surroundings in Underland. It’s a great stress reliever for her, though she's very easily distracted & can go for days without completing a drawing. 2. Violet can actually play a couple of musical instruments depending on the verse. In all verses she can play the piano, as it’s something her father taught her when she was younger, while in the starlet au she can also play the guitar & has the basics for drums.

THREE THINGS THAT YOUR MUSE LIKES DOING IN THEIR FREE TIME

1. Punching or cutting up something (punching bags, pillows, her mattress, ect), especially in the main verse. It’s how she controls her anger & violent tendencies most of the time instead of doing something she’ll end up regretting. While it doesn’t always work, it’s still better than lashing out at the person who’s gotten her upset. 2. Spending time with her family & friends. More recently you can find her brushing Beatrice’s hair & just talking with her, as she remembers a fond memory of her mother doing the same thing when she was younger & wants to get to know her daughter better. 3. Inventing or fixing up certain things around her room or for others. While Violet doesn’t do it as much as she used to, it’s still something she greatly enjoys.

SEVEN PEOPLE THAT YOUR MUSE LOVES/LIKES/TOLERATES (take your pick)

1. Klaus Baudelaire--her younger brother that she loves dearly & she does her best to protect him from the cruel world, but knows full well he knows how awful it is already.

2. Sunny Baudelaire--her younger sister that she loves dearly & would protect her no matter the cost, as she still sees there to be hope to protect her from the cruel world they live in & a possibility to have her realize there’s still good in it.

3. Beatrice Snicket Baudelaire--her adopted daughter who she truly treats more like a sister than anything else whom she loves deeply &, like Sunny, sees hope to protect her from the cruel world & have her see good in it once more.

4. Quigley Quagmire--her fiance who she loves nearly as much as her siblings & their adopted daughter, but would still choose her siblings or daughter over him if it came down to it.

5. Mallymkun Tealocket--her ex-best friend & mother figure who she claims to now hate when, in reality, wants nothing more to mend the relationship they once had.

6. Isadora Quagmire--her best friend, future sister-in-law, & godmother to her adopted daughter that Violet tells practically everything to, but would still choose her siblings & daughter over her any day despite the bond they share.

7. Lemony Snicket--her godfather that, once getting past the fact he was practically following her but was never in time to help, becomes somewhat of a father figure to her, though she’s more than willing to disobey his orders & call him out on things she believes/knows to be bullshit.

TWO THINGS YOUR MUSE REGRETS

1. Not being able to fulfill her promise to her parents the best to her ability (in her mind, anyways).

2. Her constant lying to the people she cares about most, but she continues to do it anyways.

TWO PHOBIAS / FEARS YOUR MUSE HAS/b>

1. Having to kill Quigley, Isadora, or anyone else she truly cares about in order to keep her siblings safe, but only to have them be killed anyways. 2. Her parents telling her that she’s nothing but a failure to them & how they wish they could’ve had a better daughter.

TAG TEN PEOPLE TO DO THE SAME THING: @bespectacledscholar​, @baudelairebiiiter​, @plusieurspersonnes​ (any muse ya want), @soulfled​ (any muse ya want), & anyone else who wants to do the thing!!

TAGGED BY: Stole it from @volatilefrost​

[mkobooks]

All the Dirty Parts - Daniel Handler

I read this a few months ago and I guess I needed a bit of distance from it before I felt ready to put my thoughts on it down on paper (on screen?). 

I’m a big fan of A Series of Unfortunate Events. I re-read them a few years back and enjoyed them maybe even more than I did as a kid. So, I was quite curious about Daniel Handler’s other books. When doing a bit of research, I saw that All The Dirty Parts was “edgy” and “challenged,” but how “dirty” could it be? It’s YA isn’t it? And one of the key characteristics of that genre, in my opinion, is that even though there are plenty of relationships and first loves, there’s rarely anything especially explicit.

This book should have been called Only the Dirty Parts because, in its terse, stream-of-conscious style, there was little else included in the narrative. To paraphrase Lemony Snicket: “what did you expect? I warned you in the title!” That is to say, I felt very self-conscious about reading this on a public bus.

The narrator, Cole, is a high-school boy who seemingly thinks of nothing else. He watches a lot of porn, has a lot of flings, and develops a “reputation” among the girls at his school. His “number” is--in my humble opinion--unrealistically high for someone his age and I felt that, at times, he was a somewhat “wish fulfillment” character for teen boys who may be reading. But the book is supposed to be a bit deeper than that by showing how Cole changes throughout the two relationships he gets into.

The first is with his best friend Alec. If the book had only been about this, I think it would have been much more interesting and surprising. Cole loves telling Alec about all the girls he’s been with and the two often watch porn together. Well, Cole is in a bit of a “slump” and one things leads to another... since Cole is the narrator and the storyline outside of the “dirty parts” is a bit vague, it’s not entirely clear how long they’re together, but they are essentially dating and exclusive for a few months even if Cole outright refuses to see it that way. If Cole’s biggest internal struggle was coming to terms with the fact that he’s not super-super straight/womanizer and instead was bi/queer/pan whatever, I don’t think this book would be nearly as controversial as unlikely as that sound. It would have been an unconventional coming-of-age as Cole grapples with his identity and what/who he really wants plus the way his relationship with his friend has developed and changed. 

Instead, the latter half of the book shifts as Cole meets his other love interest- foreign-exchange student Grisaille. He basically ghosts Alec (if they were never “together” then they don’t need to break up, right?) to pursue Grisaille. The book changes back to teenage wish-fulfilment, I think, in that G is very much the “sexy exchange student” trope and in her, Cole has seemingly met his match. Their relationship is very passionate (or seems that way, since we only see the “dirty parts”) and it becomes clear that he’s way more into her than she is into him. 

She wants to take things up a notch and starts talking about opening the relationship. He’s actually not that into it, but he goes along with it which results in a very uncomfortable scene in which he coerces a freshman into hooking up with him at a party. After, things start to sour between him and Grisaille.

By the end, she’s with someone else, Alec is with someone else, and Cole is alone and feeling used. I know it’s supposed to be a comeuppance for him, that he’s finally getting a taste of his own medicine and learning firsthand what it’s been like for the numerous girls he hooked up with and dumped with little concern. But, since the entire story is somewhat superficial (again, it is almost literally, just the “dirty parts”), it doesn’t land as powerfully as it should.

A question that arises over and over again in discussions of this book is whether or not this is what teenagers (boys in particular) want to read. Obviously “horny teen” is a archetype based somewhat in reality, but isn’t it a bit insulting to insinuate that they are interested in nothing else? At the same time, I look back at the novels I wrote when I was Cole’s age and they focus a lot on relationships, romantic and purely physical, albeit without anything particularly explicit. I wonder what I would have thought of this book if I’d read it when I was 17. 

Not sure I would recommend this to anyone. I didn’t hate it, but found it was as superficial as its protagonist and disliked the direction it went in by the end. Its intention was to shock and I was pretty shocked reading it. All the Dirty Parts affected me enough that here I am writing about it, three months after I read it. 

All the Dirty Parts by Daniel Handler My rating: 2 of 5 stars

[recentanimenews]

Deathflix: What Is Going on with Netflix's "Death Note"?

  Whether or not Netflix's new Death Note film is a faithful adaptation is quick and easy to answer: it's not. It's just not. Some elements are the same. There's Light. His dad's a cop. He tries to Become Justice via the Death Note. There's Ryuk. There's a girl involved. L squats on chairs and eats candy and is 99.7% sure that Light is Kira.

  Where and how often it strays is -- and has been -- a topic for many other websites. And you can dip your toe in for about five minutes and tell exactly how faithful it is. It doesn't take long to come to the realization that this is more a remix, an "inspired by," than an actual film adaptation.

  All things considered, that's probably fine... as in we've lost nothing because this isn't all we've got. Between two films and L: Change the World, we have several hours of close-to-home live-action. It was even available for a time subtitled via Netflix. The world is not starving for Death Note live-action, nor is it starving for English-language availability. So why?

  Again, the answer is fairly clear in the first... well, two minutes.

    Here's our first look at Mia Sutton, the Misa Amane analogue. Disinterested cheerleader flanked by two sunny cohorts, blowing a strand of hair out of her face as Light Turner watches from past the chain link fence. Calling it the "greatest" piece of show-don't-tell would be misleading, but calling it one of the most effective would be accurate. You know exactly what you're in for for the next hour and a half.

  The issue with Netflix's Death Note is that, somewhere along the line, it decided it would be best served by being Twilight.

Now, that's not an easy dig, and that's not using Twilight as shorthand for Bad YA Fiction. Literally, there are a lot of Twilight film adaptation similarities. The casting decision for Mia. The way she's made up and lit. Light and Mia hiding cozily from the world as they make out in between bagging on the rest of the world. (Perhaps throw in the fact that the dad is one of the few people worth rooting for.)

  This truly is a YA adaptation -- but a Hollywood YA adaptation. Which is sad, as Netflix has room for more. At some point, someone figured the American Death Note fanbase would respond best to this. Reviews tend to be showing that's not the case... but it may have worked for some.

  This is not true of the entire movie. The A story, Light and Mia finding love via a handly little murder book, is a mess. But the B story of L's investigation and his relationship with Watari is intriguing -- and honestly looks to be straight out of another film from an aesthetic standpoint. Lakeith Stanfield's L, hoodied and ninja-masked and unabashedly on the spectrum, is handled with a surprising amount of care. His posture and diet quirks roll into an interesting new interpretation of the character... much as how dozens of Sherlock Holmeses can exhibit the same actions with different intents, so the American L mimics his original counterpart with new motivation.

    Also entertaining was Willem Dafoe, clearly having a ball as the voice a spiky, smirking Ryuk. All other choices aside, from Light replacing himself with an Asian doppelganger at a school dance to blaring Air Supply over a dramatic death scene, this casting was bizarrely inspired.

  This Ryuk, along with L and his Watari, seem extremely out of place in the adaptation we see here. Ryuk could fit happily into nearly any version, with Stanfield's L frankly deserving his own L: Change the World to spread his wings. The rest is young love and cynicism in a washed-out color palette that feels like exactly what Hollywood would have done had they decided to go ahead with it.

  Why, then? Is this what the creators believed teen American anime fans -- or at least Death Note devotees -- would respond most favorably to? Was this an attempt to bring it to Their Level, ignoring the fact that anime tends to do just fine in its original form in the States? Or was this a personal preference in action? It's hard to tell... and by the third act, when L's story arc has crashed back into Light's and everything is a bit of a mess, nothing's much clearer.

    The shame of this is that, for the most part, Netflix seems to have its finger on the fandom pulse when it comes to live-action originals. The new MST3K was note-perfect, A Series of Unfortunate Events was a welcome second go at the Lemony Snicket series, and Stranger Things... well, goes without saying. And Netflix creators have an unheard-of degree of freedom when it comes to their creations: they're left with their money and told to come back when the project is done. No one would stop them from going exactly as crazy as necessary to make it what it needed to be.

  And yet, here we are.

  Netflix is churning out originals at at alarming rate and likely greenlighting anything that looks promising, so it's probably not realistic to expect them to land perfectly every time. But for a series that's become so much a part of the modern anime zeitgeist, on a platform frequented by young fans who can't necessarily make it to movies or buy DVDs constantly, it seems a waste to not bring it more into line.

  The only explanation is that this is what they believed -- or what their focus groups believed -- would work. The rapid-fire ending seems to show a desire to keep to the spirit of the original, but it echoes like an "It was just a joke" after a comment is poorly received. It would have been impressive if the preceding scenes hadn't been so ridiculous.

  Fortunately, they've left the original anime up on streaming, if you want to watch the real deal. There's always that.

  -----

  Kara Dennison is responsible for multiple webcomics, blogs and runs interviews for (Re)Generation Who and PotterVerse, and is half the creative team behind the OEL light novel series Owl's Flower. She blogs at karadennison.com and tweets @RubyCosmos.

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com